a reflection: alone with autism

Happy New Year!

I was happy to celebrate at my Noon Years Eve party this year to bring in the 2017 year. Looking back over the holidays  and years I’m happy to be in this place.  I didn’t know how I would make it many days; even after the third day of winter break this year I was unsure if I was going to survive the two weeks.

Looking back on my journey, I was alone most of the time.  When I say alone it is not physically alone in since of time.  Don’t get me wrong there was a lot of time that I spent with just the kids.  I was alone with autism .

I had to be alone with doing what was best for my son.  I was alone reading and researching treatment, theories, and examples of autism.  I knew it was autism after we started therapy (speech and occupational) and I started reading, watching videos, and asking questions.

I had to fight and I’m not a fighter!  I like to make peace, love and laughter.  I want to smile and have fun but I couldn’t because I had to fight.  I am a people-pleaser and I had to tell my family that my son had autism.  He wasn’t normal, he wasn’t going to be normal but with therapy he was going to be functional independently.

So, during the process I spent time with my children.  We went places together, had fun and pushed the limits on what my son could tolerate.  I made sacrifices to pay for therapy; I didn’t buy new clothing for myself for an entire year.  I kept moving forward looking for help, resources and anything that could help my son and family.

Looking back on those times I am happy that I made those decisions, glad that I fought, and pleased to say that I have a family that supports me 100%.  I have read many stories and meet many people that have not been able to maintain their own marriages or relationships with the other parent when faced with an autism diagnosis.  I am very thankful for my husband and the support that he gives me and my son.

So, if you are new to autism or still working on your journey feeling very alone I understand.  I can tell you that it will get better.  Some things that I have started to enjoy about our life.  I worry less about trying to “do” activities that other moms may participate in.  I schedule play dates at familiar playgrounds, I let my child decide when he will play, I invite people into our space, I am patient, I spend time alone with my typical child, I let my child make request and I learned to love who I am, who my son is and who we have all become as a family with autism.

So, some days I may feel alone with autism but I am not.  I have a family that loves each other for who they are and who they will become.

My 2017 goals are that you are not alone in your journey to find  help for your child.  That 2017 brings access to therapy and resources to help your child be their best self. I will provide content that will help you access resources, educate yourself and others about autism and advocate for your child.

Happy 2017!




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