do you have dreams about what will happen to your special needs child when you…?

…when you are no longer able to care for them?

I have! I haven’t had one in a while but I have had the same dream over and over.

I dream about being alone. (LOL) I dream about being alone as an old lady. I live in a little house in a downtown area like St Pete, FL near all the yuppie grocery stores and cool restaurants. I ride my pastel blue bike with a basket on the front each day to the store for food. I don’t have a car. I laugh and smile in my dream because my friends roll up to the street to pick me up for lunch and shopping. I am a happy old lady, laughing with her friends. Then…whether I’m riding the bike back from the grocery store or out to lunch with my friends I have a thought in the back of my head. I have to get back to make sure Max is okay. I wake up…and think

I’ll never be alone, I will always have to take care of Max.

So, I haven’t had these dreams in a while. I know that I haven’t had these dreams in awhile because I am doing the right things for my son now. I am not going to worry about the future I am going to worry about now. I put time, energy and resources into finding the best treatment for my son. I access what he needs, I listen to professionals advice and evaluations, and I know my son. A friend said to me today, “I know he’s going to soar!” I couldn’t agree more. If her and I could get everyone that works with our sons to see what we see instead of seeing ASD, we could go to the spa! LOL that’s some special needs mom humor because you know how many hours we put into taking our kids to therapy and dealing with the school as well as sacrifices we make to pay for those things. All joking aside, the world would be a brighter place if we stopped judging and starting seeing ability and special unique ability.

So, my suggestions if you are struggling with worry about what will happen to your special needs child when you can no longer care for him/her.

identify your child’s current areas of strength or interest
find the right therapy to help your child in the areas she is delayed in
ask questions about progress, challenges and ways to support the goals at home
never give up
close your eyes, envision your baby, smile, he is going to be everything God made him to be
you can’t change your situation or circumstances but you can change your attitude and outlook
read,read and read about other people who have done amazing things with the same disorder
remember that if there is a need and you can’t find it then you have a responsibility in creating it
we all have a part and a responsibility in changing the community. What will your part be? What will your child’s part be?

When I was having a lot of these dreams and more, I couldn’t sleep. I would read and think then I started to write. I started in a word file, then to the blog, then to sharing the blog. I know what my intent is, I know what my responsibility needs to be to my son, my family, and my special community. Now, I can sleep. Well, for now…