Did you move your elf on the shelf?

only a few more nights!

for me….

I never moved the elf in the house! I never had an elf in the house!

Why I don’t elf on the shelf….

I have enough commitments– this time of year is one of my favorites because of how it is traditionally centered around family and kids. The commitments and obligations of fall festivals, birthday parties, class parties, work parties, Santa, parades, winter festivals, snow festivals, and more on top of the regular commitments we make daily, weekly and monthly for our families is joyful but exhausting. I want to take December and cancel commitments; wouldn’t that be a great gift?!
I don’t want to teach anymore new concepts repetitively– for my child with autism I would have to repetitively teach, show, and read the story to try to get my child to understand the concept. (that’s what my commitment would need to be.) Could you imagine the day that my son with autism touches the elf and my typically developing daughter cries?! If he was really into the elf than it could be fun but it could also be a Christmas disaster.
I don’t want to explain something abstract to my autism kid because of the possible backfires. My son is now seven; last year was the first real year that he understood Santa. Then after Christmas for months when he would make bad choices and be in trouble he would bring up Santa. Like Santa’s not going to come, then cry and cry. When things are direct, simply and straight forward my son understands much faster. When you talk about abstract ideas, make-believe and things that don’t really exist then its more difficult. Example, to teach him how to pretend play in the housekeeping at preschool; we taught him how to use the microwave at home. Then he knew how to pretend to use a microwave! Now, transfer that into the elf on the shelf….HA
I just can’t compete– I have no desire to compete over what fun, foolish or naughty acts that an elf can get into. I really enjoy all the posts and pins of funny elf on the shelf acts but I have no desire to participate in the process. I understand that when your kid really gets into something fun that parents get so creative in having fun with it. I love that about the elf but I’ll stay on the sidelines.
I just want my kids to be good because it’s the right thing to do– with years of meltdowns and negative behaviors with the hours of ABA therapy to work on those behaviors, I just want my kids to be good all year because it’s what I expect. We have to teach and re-teach behaviors, emotions and reactions. I don’t want to add a new concept of someone is watching you to decide if you have been good or bad. Where is this elf in June? I need an elf to report to Santa that you acted up in the middle of June. I really don’t want my children to believe that they should only do right because an elf is going to go tell Santa. I want my children to understand integrity and have character that makes them good people for the sake of being from “good people”. It’s not about who’s watching and when; it’s about doing what’s right without thinking who’s watching me now.